Sweet Torment: A Novella Read online

  One of her arms is wrapped around my shoulders, the other reaching so her hand can grasp the back of my head. She squeezes tightly, pulling me close. Her once-soft whispers are now breathy moans against my ear. “Take me to your bed.”

  I stop and savor the feel of her body pressed against mine for a moment before lowering her feet to the floor. I press my forehead to hers and simply covet sharing the same space before saying those dreaded words. “I wish I could.”

  “You can, Duke. I’m ready. I want this.” She cradles the sides of my face and leans in to pick up with our kiss.

  “I can’t.” I grasp her wrists and hold her at a distance. I kiss the inside of her palm to lessen the sting of what I’m about to say. “Going this far with you was wrong.”

  Claudia shakes her head. “Nothing about this is wrong. We belong together. I know it. You know it. And pretty soon our friends and family are going to know it too.”

  No. No. No. “That can’t happen.”

  “It can happen. And it’s going to happen.”

  “You’re right. It is but not before you turn eighteen.”

  “No, Duke. That’s two months away. I can’t be apart from you again.”

  “We don’t have to be apart. We just can’t be sexually active until you reach the age of consent. I could get into some serious trouble. Not just a slap on the wrist.”

  “We’ll be careful. No one will know.”

  It would be irresponsible to take that kind of chance. “We can’t allow ourselves to get caught up in this kind of situation again. Doesn’t matter how strong-willed I am. I’m a man and being between your legs makes me weak as fuck.”

  “You like being between my legs, huh?”

  The temptation is unbelievable. My dick gets hard and it literally gains the power to override all rational thoughts in my mind. “Oh, I more than like being between your legs.”

  “I more than like it, too.”

  I release her wrists and take her hands in mine. “Eight weeks isn’t that long.”

  The corner of her mouth pulls downward. Not quite a frown but definitely not the beautiful smile I love seeing. “Eight weeks feels like an eternity, but I guess we can try.”

  “There’s no room to try. This is a serious matter, Claud.”

  “I hear what you’re saying. And I’m going to be a good girl. Promise.” Her half-frown transitions into a naughty smirk. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen that look. Trouble always accompanies it.

  “You better be a good girl. ‘Cause I’d look horrible in one of those orange jumpsuits, picking up trash on the side of the road.”

  “Stop, Duke. Don’t say things about going to jail. That’s not going to happen.”

  “Damn right, it’s not. Because I’m keeping my hands—and my dick—to myself until you blow out eighteen candles.” And after she does, I’m going to put her over my knee and give her eighteen smacks across that sweet little bare ass.

  Five nights of tutoring. Five nights of teasing. Five nights of toying. Add those things together and what do you get? A record-setting case of blue balls.

  But it’s not Claudia’s fault. If she did nothing but breathe, my dick would still get hard for her.

  I’ve never had to exercise so much fucking self-control in my life. That shit is exhausting, but one hundred percent necessary. Otherwise, I’d have Claudia shoved against the wall again, except with my cock buried deep inside her. I can’t wait until that day comes.

  Claudia leaps into my arms as soon as I open the door. “Is this happiness to see me or happiness your calculus test is behind you?”

  “Both.”

  “How do you think you did?”

  “Really well. There were three bonuses and I’m pretty sure I got all of them right.”

  “That’s great, bae.”

  “Bae?” She giggles.

  “Is it okay if I call you that?”

  “If that’s what you want.”

  “I’ve never had a bae before. I like it.”

  I kick the door closed and carry her to the sofa. “No tutoring tonight. What do you want to do?”

  “It’s probably not the best idea to go out. I was thinking we could stay here.” She glides her hands up my arms and around my shoulders. “Maybe you could tutor me in a different subject.”

  “Claud …”

  “Not full-on sex. I’m talking about the prerequisite stuff. Kissing.” She presses a soft kiss to my lips. “Touching.” She glides her hands over my chest. “Exploring.” Her hands move lower toward the fly of my jeans.

  I grab her wrist when she tugs to open my pants. “And what happens when we get carried away and I have you shoved against the wall again?”

  “I’m the one who needs the tutoring so you tell me what happens.”

  Damn, restraint is draining. I take her hand in mine and kiss her inner wrist. “We’re going to do the safe thing and watch a movie.”

  Claudia dramatically exhales as she falls against the back of the couch. “God, my boyfriend is a twenty-three-year-old man who acts a hundred and three.”

  “Well, this twenty-three-year-old man can’t take another hard-on without getting off. My balls can’t decide if they should explode or implode.”

  She sits up and reaches for my pants again. “Duke… let me make you come.”

  “Ah, fuck, I can’t take this. You’re killing me.”

  “It’s my fault you’re in this kind of misery.” She yanks open the button on my jeans and lowers my zipper. “Let me help you get some relief. You’ll feel so much better.”

  I move her hands and push my dick back in my pants when it juts out. “There’s nothing I’d love more, but I can’t let you.”

  She lowers her head. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry. I love that you want to make me feel good. Trust me. I’m going to let you as soon as I can.”

  Hands. Mouth. Pussy. Ass. I’m going to wear all of it out.

  “Forty-nine days,” she whispers.

  “It’s going to be so good when it happens because we had to wait.” I’ll know it was worth every minute of holding back when I finally get to slide my cock inside her.

  “You’ve never had to wait for sex with anyone else. You wanted it and they gave it to you right then and there.”

  “I don’t want to talk about that.” When you’re young, drunk, and fucking a girl who spread her legs for you, you never once consider having a conversation about it years later with the woman you love. You don’t think about how you’ll one day need to explain how you used another woman’s body for your own selfish pleasure. And you damn sure don’t contemplate how you’ll justify taking an act intended for true love and turning it into nothing more than a way to get your rocks off.

  I never knew how much I’d regret the ones who came before her.

  “I know you’ve screwed around with other girls. I may be young but I’m not stupid.”

  “I don’t think you’re stupid or naïve, but it’s never a good idea to talk to your girlfriend about what you’ve done with others in the past. No good can come from it. It’ll only stir up bad feelings.”

  “Phew.” She wipes her hand across her forehead. “I’m glad you feel that way. That means we won’t have to have the conversation about how many boys have fucked me.”

  How many boys have fucked me. What the hell? “Wait just a minute.”

  “Do you think we should watch a movie or binge on a TV series? We have to occupy ourselves with something other than sex and all the things leading up to it for the next forty-nine days. Maybe we could start watching American Horror Story. I’ve heard it’s really good.”

  “Back up, little dove.”

  “To the movie or TV series?”

  “You need to explain what you mean by how many boys have fucked me.”

  “There’s nothing to explain. You said we’re not having that conversation because no good could come from it. Don’t go getting your panties in a twist with me w
hen you’re the one who put an end to that discussion.”

  “I didn’t think such a conversation existed on your part.” I assumed because she hadn’t dated, she hadn’t had sex. I guess that was a dumb assumption.

  “So you want to talk about me, but we don’t get to talk about you? You have to know that isn’t going to fly with me.”

  “I want to know how many there have been.”

  “No. You said we weren’t talking about it. So we aren’t.”

  I’m not letting this go until I get some answers. “Yes, we are. Tell me now. How many boys have fucked you?”

  She wraps her hand around my chin and squeezes so my lips pucker out. She presses a quick kiss to my mouth and releases her hold. “No one has fucked me. I’ve been saving myself for you.”

  “You. Little. Shit. Come here.” I yank her onto my lap, facedown, and smack her on the ass three times. “I’ll teach you not to fuck around with me like that.”

  I smack her ass one more time before allowing her to turn over and she curls in my arms like a baby.

  “Did you like the way that felt, Duke—not knowing and imagining the worst?”

  I get it now. “No. I didn’t like it at all.”

  “That’s how I feel not knowing. I imagine notch after notch on your bedpost.”

  I don’t want Claud to have the sick feeling in her gut I just experienced. “I don’t keep a running tally.”

  “I don’t need an exact number.”

  That’s good because I don’t have one. A few faces, but mostly circumstances, scenarios, and places flash in my mind. “At least a dozen. Probably closer to fifteen or sixteen.”

  “Did you love any of them?”

  Hell, I doubt I could even come up with names for three of them. “No. It was just sex. Mostly one-night stands after a night of partying.”

  “Okay. That’s all I wanted—to know the truth.”

  “And you’re okay with it?”

  “Well, I wish you hadn’t been with all those girls but it’s in the past. Nothing to be done about it now.”

  I wish I hadn’t been with them either. “Know this, Claudia: you’re the only one I’ve ever waited to have. The only one who’s ever had a place inside my heart. The only one… I’ve ever loved.”

  “And you’re the only one I’ve ever loved.”

  Confessing my love for Claudia is terrifying. I’m putting so many things in jeopardy. My lifelong friendship with my two best friends. My relationship with Staci and Shane Bliss. The opinion my family has of me. The respect of my co-workers.

  I could lose everything by admitting my love for this girl.

  And yet I’m willing to risk it all for her.

  7

  Claudia Bliss

  Two Weeks Later

  My mom uses a toothpick to apply pressure across the eyelash band she just glued to my lid. “Do not poke me in the eye with that.”

  “Shut up. I know what I’m doing.” My mom knows exactly what she’s doing. She has a true talent when it comes to cosmetics. I’m lucky I have her to help me get ready for prom.

  “Open.” I lift my lids and she judges her work. “Looks good, thank God. I think I’d cry if I had to take it off and do it again.”

  Me too. It never looks right when you take it off and do it again. Ends up looking like a caked mess.

  Mom moves so she’s no longer blocking my view of myself in the mirror. “Take a look and tell me what you think.”

  I lean over the vanity for a closer inspection. Smoky eye in shimmery peach and brown. Black liquid liner with an exaggerated wing. Highlights and contours. Lips in matte peachy nude. “It’s perfect, Mom. Looks just like the picture I showed you.”

  “What time is Oscar coming?”

  “He’ll be here in about thirty minutes.”

  “You better get dressed. I want to get plenty of pictures of you by yourself before he arrives.”

  I’m scorching after sitting under the bathroom lights for so long. “I need to cool down so I’m not sweaty when I put on my dress. Let me grab a cold drink first.”

  I’m standing in the kitchen sipping on a bottle of water—and wearing only my panties and a button-down—when Owen and Bram come in from outside.

  “Damn, Claud. Can you put on some clothes and stop running around the house naked?”

  My shirt isn’t incredibly long but the hem hits below my panties. Barely. “Sorry. Didn’t know anyone was here.”

  “Well, we are here, and Bram doesn’t want to see you running around without clothes.” It’s nearly impossible not to burst into laughter, but I manage to hold it together.

  Owen pats his back pocket. “Let me grab my wallet, and then we’ll take off.”

  The way Bram’s eyes inspect me from head to toe makes me tingle between my legs. “You look incredible.”

  “Thank you.”

  He chuckles. “I had hoped to see you in your dress, but this is even better.”

  We’ve done some very light making out, but none of it has involved the removal of clothing. This is the closest Bram has come to seeing me naked. “Do you like the way I look in just a shirt and panties?”

  He smiles and nods. “Oh yes. I like it very much.”

  I wonder if he’d like to see more.

  I know I shouldn’t do it. But I can’t resist.

  “Claud…”

  I don’t stop pulling my shirt up until Bram is able to see my panties and bare stomach. My fingertips glide down the pink lace triangle that disappears between my legs. “This is going to be yours soon.”

  He reaches into his hair and fists the top. “Not soon enough.”

  I pull the lace to the side so he can see what’s beneath. “You know you want this. You want to touch it. Be inside it.”

  “Oh. Fuck. Me.”

  “I’m dying to.” I grin as I lower my shirt. “I would tonight if you would.”

  “You’re such a wicked girl for tempting me like that. You know how weak I am.”

  Nothing about Bram is weak. I’ve never known a stronger man in my life. “I’d say the opposite is true.”

  I smile behind my bottle of water when Owen returns to the kitchen. “Ready to go?”

  “Yeah, but I need to use the bathroom first.”

  I bet he does. “And I need to get into my dress.”

  I follow Bram down the hallway. “Have fun in there pumping your pickle. Unless you want me to come in and help you out.”

  “While I’m taking care of what you’ve done to me, I’m going to fantasize about spanking your ass so hard.”

  I take his hand and put it on my butt. “Ooh, spank me hard and then do me from behind.”

  He yanks his hand away and groans. “Fuck, Claud. You don’t talk or act like a virgin.”

  It’s impossible to be prim and proper when you’re always hanging out with three rough-and-tumble boys. “I grew up around you, Owen, and River. What did you think was going to happen?”

  “I had no idea we were turning you into this.”

  “You like this. Admit it.”

  “Can’t lie. I fucking love it.”

  “I want to come over tonight.”

  Bram exhales slowly as he adjusts his cock through his jeans. I could make him feel so much better if he’d just let me. “Not the best idea, bae. Odds are good that Owen and River will crash at my place after we watch the game.”

  “If they’re passed out, they’ll never know I’m there. I can slip in and out and they’ll be none the wiser.” I’m good at being sneaky when I want to be.

  “It’s too risky.”

  I clutch the front of his shirt. “I want to see you.”

  “I want to see you too but not if it means blowing everything we’ve worked so hard to keep from them.” He cradles the side of my face and strokes his thumb over my cheek. “Only five more weeks, little dove. You’ve got to hang in there.”

  I turn my face toward his hand and kiss his palm. “Okay, but text if they don’t
stay.”

  “I will.”

  “Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  I lightly tap on the bathroom door as soon as it closes, and Bram cracks it. “No, you can’t come in and give me a hand job or blowjob or any other kind of job.”

  I put my mouth to the crack and whisper, “Hey, when you do me from behind, I want you to pull my hair.”

  “Oh, no worries. You’re going to get it rough.”

  I’m still smiling—and maybe giggling a little—when I return to my bedroom.

  “That big grin wouldn’t have anything to do with running into a certain calculus tutor, would it?”

  Why in the world would she say something like that? “Mommm. No.”

  “You’re a terrible liar, Claudia.”

  This isn’t good. What do I say to throw her off our trail? “He’s… Bram. I’ve known him my entire life. He’s Owen’s best friend.”

  “And you’ve loved him your entire life. Just as he’s loved you.”

  Shit. She knows. There’s no denying it. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything. It’s written all over your face.”

  She has the power to make serious trouble for Bram and me. “Are you mad?”

  “No. I adore Bram. Why would I be angry?”

  God, what a relief. “Because he’s so much older than me.”

  “It’s never felt like there were that many years between you, especially after you got a little older.”

  I feel the same. “We worry people will be opposed to us being together.”

  “I never have to worry about Bram hurting you. That gives me peace of mind.”

  I hadn’t thought of it like that. “We’re planning to tell everyone after my birthday. What do you think Dad will say?”

  “Bram is like another son to us but he’s also a grown man. Your daddy still sees you as his little girl. He might not be won over as easily as me but he’ll come around after the idea has had time to sink in.”

  “We’re worried about Owen’s reaction.”

  “Your brother is protective of you. I wouldn’t expect him to like it much at first, but I think he’ll come around after the shock wears off.”