Beautiful Ever After Read online

  Except it is.

  Rachel comes to me and wraps her arms around me. And that’s when the tears begin. “Shh. Stop that now. This is going to be all right.”

  “In what world is this going to be all right?”

  “I don’t know. It just sounded like the right thing to say.”

  In the back of my mind, I still had hope that my relationship with Hutch could somehow work out. I didn’t know how. I only knew that a small flicker of hope was still burning. And now it’s not.

  Hutch has worked hard and has warmed up to the idea of being a father to Ava Rose. I’m proud of how far he’s come, but he still has a long way to go. How can I ask him to do it all over again with another unwanted child?

  I don’t think he can bear it.

  The nurse returns to the exam room a few minutes later. “Radiology has to work you into the schedule so it could be a while. You have time to call the baby’s father if you want him to be with you during the ultrasound.”

  Absolutely not. “My friend is going to be with me.”

  She opens a drawer and takes out a sheet. “Remove your bottoms and wrap this around your waist. A tech should be with you soon to do your scan.”

  Naked from the waist down, my body trembles as I lie on the exam table. Rachel pats my arm. “Are you cold?”

  “No.”

  “Nervous?”

  “Very.”

  “I wish I knew what to say to make this better. but I can’t think of anything.”

  Words aren’t what I need right now. “Your being here with me makes it better. I don’t know what I’d do if I was alone.”

  “I would never let you do this alone. But what about Hutch?”

  “He isn’t going to want any part of this.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  I do know that. “He’s already had one child forced upon him that he didn’t want. How do you think that he’ll feel about another one?”

  “This is an entirely different situation. He loves you and this baby belongs to him. He has the right to know about it.”

  I would never keep anything so important from him. “I’m going to tell him about it, but I need time. I’m not ready yet.”

  I lie on the exam table imagining everything about this baby. Is it a boy? A girl? Will it be tall like Hutch or short like me? Will it have my hazel eyes? Or Hutch’s pale blues? I hope for the latter. His eyes are beautiful.

  The door opens and a woman that I assume is the ultrasound tech comes into the room, rolling a large machine behind her. “Miss Louden?”

  I rise to a sitting position and straighten my sheet. “Yes.”

  “I’m Diana and I’m going to be doing your ultrasound.”

  She sits on the stool beside me and taps on the keyboard of the ultrasound machine. “Based upon your last menstrual period, it looks like you’re around six weeks along?”

  “That’s what Dr. Kimble told me.”

  The tech adjusts the sheet and squeezes a generous amount of warm gel on my stomach. She presses the wand against my lower belly, rocking it back and forth. “I’ll take measurements of your uterus first.”

  I stare at the ceiling, wishing all of this would go away.

  “Don’t you want to look?” Rachel asks.

  I don’t think I can without losing it entirely. “No.”

  The tech pushes harder against my stomach. “Ah, there he is. He was hiding from us.”

  Opening my eyes, I jerk my head around and look at the screen. “I want to see it.”

  Reaching out, she touches the monitor. “This little white dot is your baby.”

  How can a little white dot be a baby? “Are you sure?”

  “Positive,” she says.

  “Everything looks normal?”

  “It’s still very early but all looks well from what I can see today. The baby appears to be growing right on schedule.”

  I’m entranced by the white oblong circle on the screen, the beginning of a tiny human being. A baby that Hutch and I came together and created.

  Part of him.

  Part of me.

  Our baby.

  The ultrasound tech tears off a printout from the machine and hands it to me. “All done. You can get dressed now.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. Congratulations and best wishes.”

  Congratulations and best wishes? That makes all of this feel far too real.

  Rachel gets up and fetches my clothes, holding them out for me. “You’re eating for two now. I think you need a big cheeseburger and some beer-battered onion rings.”

  Grease. The thought of it makes me want to hurl. “I’ll pass.”

  “You’ve barely eaten enough to keep a bird alive. You need to put some nutrients in your body for the baby.”

  I know Rachel is right.

  “Pick a place.”

  “Tigerlily.”

  This is her way of bribing me to eat. She knows that I can’t resist their chicken-and-bacon club sandwich. “Tigerlily sounds really good right now.”

  The server places our food on the table. “Enjoy and let me know if you need anything else.”

  “Thank you.”

  I wasn’t sure that I would be able to eat, but I feel hungry for the first time in weeks now that my favorite sandwich is in front of me. “This looks really good.”

  “I thought that sandwich might entice your appetite to return.”

  “Thanks for bribing me into coming.”

  “You have a bairn to look after now. Going without food is over.” It’s nice to have someone looking out for me.

  “I have to eat for the baby and I understand that.”

  “May 19th feels like forever away, but it isn’t. The baby will be here before you know it.”

  I wonder when graduation will be. It has to be sometime around my due date. “At least I’ll be able to finish classes before I give birth.” Unless something happens and I deliver early.

  “Would you be mad at me if I told you that I’m excited about the bairn?”

  “I wouldn’t be mad but I’d wonder why you were excited.”

  “Because you’re going to have a wee one. It’ll be so adorable. And so much fun.”

  I wish I could feel like Rachel. “You should be the one having a baby.”

  “I wish I was.”

  “Do you really mean that?”

  “I do. I would love to be a mum.”

  “What does Claud have to say about that?”

  “He wants a child. And at forty-four, he doesn’t want to wait much longer.”

  Sounds as though they’re having some serious discussions about it. “Lucky you.”

  “You don’t know for sure that Hutch doesn’t want this child.”

  I clear my throat. “‘I lack the gene that drives a man to want to father a child.’ Those were his exact words. And you’ve not seen the way he struggles with being a father to Ava Rose. He works at it, but it’s an uphill battle all of the way for him.”

  “If he’s so opposed to parenthood, do you think he’d ask you to have an abortion?”

  I swallow my food and think about that for a second. “I hadn’t even considered that possibility.”

  “I know how much you love him so if he asked, would you consider doing it?”

  I’m in shock about this pregnancy, but I want this baby. “I would never consider abortion. If he doesn’t want to be a part of this baby’s life, he doesn’t have to be. I can raise it on my own.”

  “You’re the strongest person I know, so I don’t doubt that for a second. When are you going to tell him?”

  “I think I should wait at least a couple of weeks. Let me come to grips with it before I try to tell him.” Because quite honestly, I don’t know what in the world I’ll say.

  “I think the baby negates all of the ultimatums of the sister-in-law.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re having Maxwell Hutcheson’s baby. That’s a tr
uth that is going to come out. Her threats about exposing your relationship seem null to me.”

  “I hadn’t thought of it that way, but you’re right. She lost her leverage when I became pregnant.”

  “Would he ask you to not name him as the father?”

  “I don’t think so.” And if he did, it would break my heart all over again.

  “I think this baby is going to bring you back together.”

  “Don’t say that.” Hearing things like that makes me get my hopes up.

  “After talking with him last night, I believe it will for sure. He loves you so much, and I think he’s going to surprise you with how he takes this news.”

  Is it possible? Could Hutch want this baby?

  I’m afraid to hope.

  7

  Maxwell Hutcheson

  Lou loves me. She didn’t leave on her own accord. So what the fuck could Blair possibly be holding over Lou’s head? And why is she allowing Blair to control her actions?

  I can’t figure it out. The only thing I’m certain of is that Lou won’t see me until I take care of this with Blair.

  I’ve been racking my brain for ideas since I saw Rachel two nights ago. I’ve come up with nothing.

  I’m on my fifth whisky of the night. Maybe sixth. Doesn’t matter what number you put on it. It’s the one that makes being in this house without Lou bearable.

  I turn up the last of my whisky and see the figure of a woman over the glass.

  Lou?

  My elation quickly turns to anger when my eyes focus and I register who it is. “Blair. I was just thinking about you.”

  She smiles. “You know how to make a woman feel special.”

  I sit taller and slide toward the coffee table, pouring myself another whisky. “Grab a glass from the bar and have a drink with me.”

  She places the glass on the table in front of me and I pour four fingers high. “What brings you all the way out to Kirkliston?”

  “You were upset the last time I saw you. I wanted to check in and see how you were doing.”

  I hold up my whisky glass. “I’m fucking miserable. That’s how I’m doing.”

  It’s such a kick in the bollocks to find happiness after two years of misery and then have it ripped out of your life.

  “Why are you miserable?”

  That fucking faux innocent tone in her voice makes me want to rip out her vocal cords.

  “You know very well why.”

  “For the life of me, I don’t know.”

  “Lou is gone and you’re the reason.”

  “She told you that?”

  “Lou has told me nothing because I’ve not seen her since the day she walked out of here without so much as a goodbye. And she refuses to see me.”

  Blair does a shitty job of hiding her satisfaction. “And that is somehow my fault?”

  “I believe it is.”

  “Why would I do anything to make your housekeeper leave her position?”

  “Stop being coy. It doesn’t suit you. We both know that she isn’t my housekeeper.”

  Blair shrugs and shakes her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  This game she’s playing is infuriating.

  “Lou and I were having an affair. You knew. And you didn’t like it worth a damn.”

  Blair breathes in deeply and slowly releases the air. “That woman, that whore, has no place in your life or Ava Rose’s.”

  “Lou isn’t a whore. But even if she was, it wouldn’t be your place to decide who is or isn’t in my life.”

  “Mina wouldn’t want a prostitute living under the same roof as her daughter.”

  “Lou isn’t a prostitute.”

  “She is according to my sources.”

  Blair has sources. Okay. This is starting to come together now. “Who are your sources?”

  “A very reputable private investigator. And also the son of Inamorata’s owner.”

  Chambers. I knew that little bastard would find a way to hurt Lou.

  “You know nothing about Lou.”

  “She’s an escort and you paid her to have sex with you. That’s the definition of a prostitute.”

  Well, fuck. That much is true. And it sounds bad when she says it like that.

  “How could you think that bringing that woman into your home would be acceptable?”

  “This is my house and what I do here is my business. I don’t owe you an explanation about anything I do in the privacy of my own home.”

  “You do as long as Ava Rose lives in this house. And if at any time your actions become unfit, it’s my job to step in and help you find your way back onto the right path.”

  So Blair has made herself the warden who governs my actions? Let’s see what she has to say about this.

  “I love Lou.”

  There’s a catch in her throat and her eyes widen. “No. That can’t happen.”

  “Too late. It already has.”

  “Don’t say that.”

  “I. Love. Lou.”

  “You can’t love someone else. It’ll ruin everything.”

  “What will it ruin?”

  “Do you really not see the truth of what’s been happening all these years?”

  The only truth that I know about all of these years is that getting tied up with the Lochridges has led me down a road of misery and despair. “What truth?”

  “You shouldn’t have married Mina.”

  I couldn’t agree more, but I can’t believe that I’m hearing that out of Blair. “No truer words have ever been spoken.”

  Blair places her glass on the table and gets up, walking over and standing in front of me.

  What the fuck is she doing?

  “I always saw your true worth. Mina never did.”

  She unties the belt at her waist, opening her wrap dress to reveal her naked body beneath. Lifting one of her legs, she moves to climb on top of me but I reach out, gripping her waist. “No. Don’t do that.”

  “I know you want me. You always have.”

  I don’t know what in the fuck I could have done to give Blair that impression. “You’re wrong. Very wrong.”

  She drops to her knees in front of me and reaches for my belt buckle. “I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to have you in my mouth.”

  I push at her hands, but her grip around my buckle is tight. “Stop. Now.”

  She stops tugging on my belt, but her grip doesn’t lessen. “Let me see if I have this right. I’m trying to suck you off and you’re telling me no?”

  “That is accurate.”

  “You’re turning down a blowjob from me?”

  How many different ways does she need to hear rejection? “I don’t want you to blow me.”

  Blair’s laughter clearly isn’t sparked by humor. “You’re rejecting me because of this nobody whore who calls herself Lou?”

  “I love her.” And her lips are the only ones I want wrapped around my cock.

  “You can’t be serious.”

  “I’ve never been more serious in my life.”

  “You have to know that I’ll never let you be with her.”

  It’s laughable that she truly believes she has the right to say how I live my life.

  “You can’t stop me from being with her.”

  “If you bring that whore back into your life, I will ruin you. I will tell Dad everything.”

  “Go ahead. Tell him that I’m in love with Lou. Tell him that I want to make her my wife. Tell him to fire me and ensure that I never work in Edinburgh again. The three of us will be happier in Glasgow anyway.”

  Aye, it’s a dick move to threaten Blair with moving Ava Rose to Glasgow, but what choice has she given me?

  “Try to take my niece out of Edinburgh, and you’ll find out what happens when you fuck with the Lochridges.”

  “Ava Rose is my daughter. I can take her anywhere I want.”

  A grin of pure evil spreads across Blair’s face. “Come on, Max. We both know that Ava
Rose is not your daughter.”

  Whoa.

  Wait a fucking minute.

  Blair knows?

  It feels like someone has knocked the breath right out of me. “What are you talking about?”

  “You think my sister didn’t confide in me?”

  It’s hard for me to believe that Mina would have confided in Blair about anything. Of her three sisters, Blair was her least favorite.

  “I don’t know what Mina told you, but I think you’re confused.”

  “Of the two of us, I’m the only one who isn’t confused about the truth. I know everything about Mina’s affair and who fathered Ava Rose.”

  She knows who got Mina pregnant?

  I’ve never wanted to know who Ava Rose’s father is. Being unaware meant not carrying the burden of withholding her from her true paternal family. Learning the truth would change everything.

  “Don’t tell me who he is. I don’t want to know.”

  “Don’t worry. I don’t plan on telling you or him unless I have no other choice.”

  The biological father doesn’t know about Ava Rose. That’s good to know.

  “What do you mean by no other choice?”

  “If you choose to bring Lou back into your life, it’ll mean losing custody of Ava Rose. I’ll tell everyone that you aren’t her biological father, and a paternity test will prove it. There won’t be a judge in Edinburgh who would rule for her to remain in the care of a man who isn’t her father rather than placing her with her real family.”

  “You’d do that to her? And to me? Take her away from the only parent she’s ever known?”

  “I wouldn’t want to, but you’d be leaving me with no choice if you choose to have Caitriona Louden in your life.”

  Lou’s real name is Caitriona Louden.

  Finally, I have a name for her.

  “You’d make me choose between my daughter and the woman I love?”

  “I certainly would, but there’s another option to consider.”

  “What other option?”

  “We could raise Ava Rose together as our daughter.”

  Our daughter? Mine and Blair’s?

  What the actual fuck?

  “Are you suggesting that we share custody?”

  “No, Max. I want you to marry me. I want to be Ava Rose’s mother. And your wife.”