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“It was the opposite. She mesmerized me. No other dealer had ever been capable of taking that amount of money from me. I wanted her to come to work for me.”

  “But she didn’t?”

  “No. She had a daughter she didn’t want to uproot. A beautiful little girl named Stella.” Until the day you yanked me from beneath my bed and pressed a pillow into my face.

  “Where do they live? I should look her up when I get home.”

  “I wish you could. Amanda and her daughter were murdered eighteen years ago. It’s still an unsolved case.”

  I gasp in horror. “That’s terrible.”

  I hope Thane loses sleep tonight remembering my mother. I curse him to go mad working out how I can look so much like his lost love. And just when he thinks he has it all sorted, I’ll be there holding the barrel of my gun to his temple. He’s going to die the same way my mother did. It’s only fitting.

  Chapter 12

  Sinclair Breckenridge

  Dad drops us at home after lunch and I feel I owe Bleu an explanation for my father’s bizarre behavior—except I don’t have one. I only know he’s completely taken with her. And this is good. It means he isn’t concentrating on her being an outsider, which triggers a thought in my mind. Dad was having an affair with a woman not within the circle of The Fellowship. Did the brothers know or did he keep it secret as I’m doing now?

  “I feel like I should apologize for the way my father conducted himself today. I’m not sure why he felt compelled to continually talk of his lover and her daughter. I’m sorry if it made you ill-at-ease.”

  “I probably encouraged him with my questions. I shouldn’t have pried, but I truly had no idea there was such a tragedy behind his love affair.”

  I remember how Dad would be in a pleasant mood when he came back from his trips to the US. I always assumed it was because business had gone well. Now that I know about this woman he loved, I’m guessing she was the reason. “I remember him grieving for her, the American.”

  “How so?”

  “He returned from one of his trips and went MIA for days. No one knew where he was—not even Abram. I remember the brothers going crazy. They thought an opposing adversary got to him so he was assumed dead. There was lots of talk but I didn’t know what to believe. I’ve never been so scared in all my life.”

  “Where did he go?”

  “I never knew. But he was different when he came back. His drive was gone.”

  “How old were you when that happened?”

  “Nine? Maybe ten?”

  Thane was a married man when he was seeing my mom. I don’t like the thought but I have to wonder if she knew he had a wife and children. “You don’t seem upset for your mother.”

  “They’ve never cared for each other. She wouldn’t be hurt by his relationship with another woman so why should I be?”

  “I guess I thought maybe deep down, she loved him. Women can be that way.”

  She’s never met Isobel Breckenridge. “Not my mother. Loving my father would require emotion I don’t think she possesses.”

  “Those are strong words to say about one’s parent.”

  My mother can be very harsh. It was difficult growing up with her as a mum. “She’s indifferent to all of us—Dad, me, my brother, Mitch. The only person she ever cared for was my sister, Cara.”

  “You haven’t mentioned a sister.”

  “She’s gone.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”

  I still nearly become sick every time I think of what happened to my baby sister. “She was five years old when someone came into her room and smothered her. To this day, we don’t know who.” They used her favorite stuffed animal, a leopard-print cat, a gift for her birthday. She loved that thing so much.

  Bleu suddenly becomes pale and fidgety. She seems heavily affected by hearing of Cara’s death. “Is child killing a common practice in your world?”

  I can’t believe she would even think that. “Never! No one in The Fellowship condones the killing of a child. We aren’t monsters, Bonny. None of us would harm a child. There’s no place for that in my brotherhood.”

  “What does The Fellowship value most? Do they hold anything dear?” I don’t care for her tone. It implies she believes we have no feelings or emotions.

  “Nothing means more to us than family and loyalty. We have codes concerning both that we don’t break.” Some believe our devotion is misguided because of the things we do and find acceptable, but I don’t question the trust I have in my brotherhood.

  “What would you do if you found out a comrade had harmed a child?”

  “I’d kill him.” No second thoughts.

  “You’d do that even if it was someone you loved dearly?”

  She has misjudged me. “We should become clear about one thing. I love no one dearly. But back to your question… I wouldn’t hesitate if the circumstances warranted. It’s my place to carry out swift justice.”

  “How many people have you killed?”

  She should know she can’t ask that. She’ll need to learn she isn’t privy to Fellowship information. “I’m not discussing that with you.”

  “Why not?”

  Is it not obvious? “Because you aren’t Fellowship.”

  “But you’ve told me other things.”

  “I’ve told you nothing of consequence. Admitting to murder is something entirely different. Don’t forget I’m a lawyer. I’m intelligent enough to avoid incriminating myself.”

  “I don’t ask because I’m going to run to the authorities. I know you’d kill me if I did.”

  “Aye. I would.”

  Bleu understands how I operate, yet she’s still here. She isn’t afraid of what might happen. I choose to believe that’s because she isn’t planning to be anything but trustworthy.

  If I were capable of having feelings for a woman, I think I’d have them for Bleu. It’s really too bad she’ll be leaving sooner rather than later. I think I could see this thing between us going somewhere if she stayed.

  This conversation needs a new direction. “Did you enjoy lunch?”

  “I did. Your father was very charming toward me considering I’m forbidden fruit.”

  Of course there’s the issue of The Fellowship but it felt like my father was understanding of my liaison with Bleu. I guess he would be since he’s been there. “I feel good about Dad’s reaction. He seemed encouraging. That’s never happened with any woman.”

  “Why would he not urge you to have a relationship? I would think he’d want you to eventually marry and have children.”

  “I’m guessing they haven’t been pushing for it because I’m still in my traineeship. Once I’m finished, I expect them to press for a marriage. They’ll expect me to produce a son.” That doesn’t bring pleasant thoughts to mind.

  “Then you may only have a few months of bachelorhood left. Do you have your eyes set on a lucky lady?”

  “Not a one.”

  “Will your father choose a wife for you if you won’t?”

  “He might try, but I’d prefer to not marry at all if I have to live the way my parents did.” I lace my fingers through Bleu’s and squeeze. “I’m not attracted to weak women willing to give their bodies to men to get what they want. Most of The Fellowship women have been passed around by my brothers. I don’t want to wonder how many of them have fucked my wife.”

  “I can see where that might be a turnoff.”

  “Aye, a huge one. But I have a new favorite turn-on—a woman who’s only had me inside her.”

  “I’m happy you’re pleased.” She gets up from the couch and tugs on my hands. “Come to the bedroom with me. We’ll see if I can please you again.”

  The shifting of the bed wakes Bleu when I move to the edge to put on my prosthesis. I don’t usually apply it for a visit to the toilet but I’m not doing the naked hop in front of her.

  She slides over and kisses my bare back. “Where do you think you’re going? It’s too early to get out of bed. ” />
  “The toilet.”

  “Will you be coming back?”

  It’s already later than I usually sleep—but it’s Saturday, so I don’t have work today. “Do you want me back in bed with you?”

  “I do but you probably shouldn’t get any ideas about a morning shag. I fear my body is protesting your exploitation of it last night. I’m not feeling my best down there.”

  I wasn’t rough with her at all since I suspected she could be sore. I’m surprised she’s having discomfort. “The condoms may be irritating you. They do that sometimes.” I turn on the lamp. “Let me have a peek.”

  I push her onto her back and she clamps her thighs closed. “No way. You can forget that.”

  “You may be having an allergic reaction.”

  “I don’t need you to look at my stuff for me to be sure this kind of swelling isn’t normal.” Her face is pained as she wiggles. “What would you say if I told you I didn’t want to use condoms anymore?”

  I’m clean. She’s clean, and infertile, so I guess it would be all right. We’ve sort of already been together without one anyway, if you count the first time when the rubber busted. “I guess it’s okay if you’re one hundred percent positive you won’t get pregnant.”

  “I’ve been evaluated by more than one doctor and they all agree a pregnancy won’t happen without extensive—and expensive—medical intervention.”

  I want to know what’s wrong with her.

  I guess wrong probably isn’t the best term to choose. I wouldn’t want her to say something wasn’t right with me because I have an amputation. Infertility is a medical condition. It doesn’t define her, just as this steel blade attached below my knee doesn’t define me.

  “I’m up for doing it bare if that’s what you want.”

  “You’ve claimed me so I guess that negates the conversation about sexual monogamy.” She quickly looks up at me. “That is absolutely nonnegotiable. Understand?”

  I can’t think of a lass I’d want after having her. “I told you I wouldn’t be with another woman.”

  “I know that’s what you said, but this is serious—like catching a disease kind of serious—so I feel like I need to stress the importance. Can you solemnly promise me there’ll be no one else?”

  I twist around so I can face her. I stroke my hand down her cheek before kissing her quickly. “Aye, I swear you’ll be the only one.”

  I return from the toilet and remove my blade, the one I wear around the house, before getting back into bed. Bleu moves over to rest her head on my chest. She touches the inked pattern on the inside of my upper arm using her fingertips. “I love this pattern. What does it mean?”

  “It’s a Celtic shield knot. It’s symbolic of protection.”

  “I thought it might be some kind of love knot you got for a girl,” she giggles.

  I’m pondering Bleu’s romantic notion when my phone rings. I reach for it on the nightstand but feel compelled to clear her notions about my tattoo. “I assure you it wasn’t inspired by romantic ideas such as that.”

  It’s Abram. He never calls on the weekend so I’m guessing something has happened. Dammit. Whatever it is will tear me away from spending the day with Bleu. Another day is hijacked. “Aye.”

  “Your father tells me you have a lass, an American.”

  I should have known Dad would tell him. “Aye.”

  “I should meet the woman in the life of The Fellowship’s future superior. Bring her to my house for dinner tonight at seven.”

  I wish I could refuse. “Of course.”

  “We’ve been invited to dinner at my uncle’s.”

  “Your father’s brother?”

  “Aye, Abram.”

  “I heard his name a lot at the bar. Is he ahead of you in line to take over?”

  He wishes. “Abram can never be in the head leadership role. He was adopted and only a blood Breckenridge can become sovereign.”

  “Was he adopted as a baby?”

  “His parents were Fellowship but they were killed in a car accident. My granda always favored his father so he took Abram. I think he was around five.”

  “Does he have children?”

  “He’s Jamie’s father. He also has two daughters, Westlyn and Evanna.”

  “Oh. Then y’all are cousins and best friends?”

  “We are—known each other our entire lives.”

  “I haven’t spent much time with Jamie. He doesn’t come into Duncan’s often.”

  “He used to but he’s in the middle of his trainee rotation in trauma surgery. He stays busy with that and his studies.”

  I see the surprise on her face. “I didn’t know Jamie was in medical school. Is he leaving The Fellowship?”

  She doesn’t understand the dynamics of our brotherhood. No one leaves The Fellowship, not alive at least. “No. Trustworthy physicians are few and far between. There’s always an issue when a brother has an injury the infirmary is required to report to the authorities. You can see how that’s a problem. The Fellowship decided to send one of our own for medical training and Jamie volunteered. When he finishes his traineeship, he’ll come to work for us as a private physician. He’ll never work a day for the public.”

  “You’re being trained to criminally defend the brotherhood, Jamie will treat them medically when things go awry, and Leith will get them drunk. I do believe the three of you are the perfect trifecta.”

  Trifecta. That’s the perfect word to describe us.

  Chapter 13

  Bleu MacAllister

  “You should probably expect to be under a microscope.” This is my warning to be prepared for a lot of probing.

  “I understand why and I don’t mind. I have nothing to hide.” This is completely expected. “But you should know now that I’m not consenting to a body cavity search.” Sterling stares ahead but I hear him cackle beneath his breath. I look forward and can see the reflection of his grin in the rearview mirror. “Do you blame me, Sterling?”

  He’s a man of few words. Or maybe no words. I don’t believe I’ve ever heard him utter a single one, at least not to me. And he doesn’t this time, either.

  I’m a little concerned that Abram has such a say in Sin’s life. “Your dad is leader. Shouldn’t Abram accept me without further evaluation if Thane approves?”

  “Ideally, yes. But Abram is a controlling bastard. He likes things done his way. It often creates a power struggle between him and Dad. In the end, my father is always in command and wins—but not until after being forced to flex his muscle.”

  Thane likes me very much. I hope it’s enough for him to do some flexing.

  Abram’s home can easily be called a castle. The main house’s exterior is weathered stone, much like most of the buildings you see in Edinburgh. I’m no real estate expert but it has all the classic architecture of a home built hundreds of years ago.

  It’s surrounded by lush green pasture. The air smells of freshly cut grass. And cleanliness. It’s very different from what I’m accustomed to in Memphis.

  We go into Abram’s home and his expression is telling. He looks as though he’s seen a ghost. That convinces me he at least knows what my mother looked like. I’d not given that much thought but it’s likely he knew her as well.

  Sin introduces me to Abram first. “My God. Thane was right. Your resemblance to Amanda Lawrence is uncanny.”

  “You’ve heard the old saying, ‘like father, like son’? It often rings true.” I’m guessing this woman looking me over is Thane’s wife.

  “This is my mother, Isobel,” Sin says.

  She’s a very attractive woman with short, bright red hair styled in a pixie cut. Her eyes are vivid blue. I’m instantly reminded of Sharon Osbourne. At first glance, I see no part of her in Sin but then I notice something around her eyes that reminds me of him.

  “It’s lovely to meet you, Mrs. Breckenridge.” I’m expecting her to be a hard one to win over.

  “The pleasure is all mine, dear.” She seems ver
y pleased by my presence, maybe even exceedingly so. I didn’t expect a warm welcome considering the things Sin has told me about her.

  I’m introduced to Abram’s wife and then the six of us go into the formal dining room. Despite the age of their home, the interior is modern and filled with exquisite furnishings. My surroundings could pass for those belonging to royalty. It makes me sick to think of the people who have suffered or been killed so they can live in this manner.

  Abram pulls out the chair next to the head of the table. “Please do me the honor of sitting next to me, Miss MacAllister.”

  I look to Sin, unsure if it’s what he’d have me do. He nods his approval so I take the seat. I have two of the most notorious criminals in Scotland sitting to my right and directly across the table. I’ll be questioned and ogled by them both. That shouldn’t be at all stressful.

  Abram allows the first course to be served before he begins his cross-examination. “How old are you, Miss MacAllister?”

  Sin sighs loudly, displaying his annoyance. “Not this again.”

  I put my hand on his knee beneath the table. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.” I look at Abram. “Twenty-five.”

  “The same age as Amanda’s daughter would have been. That’s a very unlikely coincidence. Wouldn’t you agree?”

  “I wouldn’t know.” I shrug and return to my soup.

  “Allow me to address all the concerns and questions you might have, Uncle,” Sin says. “I understand Bleu has an uncanny resemblance to Amanda Lawrence but she didn’t know her or her daughter. She would have been a young child when they were killed, so please stop harassing her about something she knows nothing about.” Sin’s drawn a line in the sand by expressing his loyalty to me. It’ll be interesting to see the shit this stirs.

  Isobel clears her voice. “My son is right. And I’m sure Miss MacAllister is nervous enough without you performing an inquisition, Abram. Leave her be.”

  Sin looks at his mother as though he has no idea who she is.

  I wait until Thane and Abram aren’t looking to mouth “thank you” at Isobel. She gives me a kind smile followed by a single nod.